The Millennial's Guide to Surviving the Holidays

It’s that time of the year again. 10 years ago, it was the most anticipated. 10 years from now, it’ll be the most dreaded when we’re racing the clock to make it meaningful for everyone else. If you’ve found yourself caught in the middle of childish expectations and horrific fears of adulting, below are some survival techniques that’ll help make your holiday with your while. Survival Tip #1: Pregame I am in no way promoting the use of substances, but I am promoting a relaxation/meditation activity before going to the designated holiday hosts home, or having people at yours. Even if you are excited about seeing everyone, preparing yourself for the simultaneous energy is worth the preparation.

Survival Tip #2: Make a Dish If you don't have your own family yet, then you're probably in that awkward adulting phase where you feel like you should be contributing somehow, but you're certainly not the matriarch/patriarch. You may not have any clue what your role is now that you're too big for the kiddie table. Nonetheless, don't be afraid to contribute. Make your specialty, even if it's not traditional holiday cuisine. If you're not a cook at all, buy something already packaged. If aunt so-and-so's potato salad is still nasty, see if the local grocery store's is better.

Survival Tip #3: Courageous Clapbacks So you're grown. You've probably been grown, but maybe your family still sees the kid with a big head that used to suck their thumb. Or maybe they're asking you when you're going to have kids while theirs is running around like they don't have home training. This year is your year to snatch edges (hopefully not literally). Some communities of color view people as youth until they're thirty; and they treat us as such. Don't be afraid to be the adult that you are and demand respect. If the old heads can dish it out, they can take it. There's nothing wrong with respectfully putting people in their place.

Survival Tip #4: Activities If you're eating what I'm eating on holidays, at some point you're getting the "itis". It's that time of the holiday when you want to go to sleep, but if you nap too long you'll miss the leftovers. And you know that to-go plate will not make it out the house. Plan an activity to help the time pass between your next serving. If spades is banned at your people's house, maybe suggest a movie that's appropriate for everyone.

Survival Tip #5: Divide your time If you're doing holidays with bae or you have a friends gathering to attend, make it known that you have somewhere else to be. Setting a specific time will make it easier to slide out when family starts to guilt trip you for not wanting to sit in the same spot all day. It helps to plan a holiday that works for you and your significant other ahead of time instead of waiting until people get to trying you, arguing, or you're just ready to leave. Your needs are always important. This is one of the only off days that some of us get. Make it count.

Survival Tip #6: Remember the Times Every year I have a surreal moment where I remember that certain loved ones won't be walking through the door. Though we miss them all year, the absence of family that we are grieving can definitely put a damper on the holiday. It's okay to reflect on the good times you had with them. Some people may get very uncomfortable. This is normal, we all grieve differently. It always makes me feel better to give a shout out to my angels and ancestors while acknowledging what I'm thankful for.

Survival Tip #7: Offer Help We're getting old. That means the old folks are getting even older. If you know that it's been too much salt in the greens lately, ask if anyone preparing the meal needs help. Offer support to whomever seems to have the most pressure to host the holiday. Feeling responsible for everyone else's holiday and hunger can be overwhelming. Making yourself useful can make it more enjoyable. Plus, one day that pressure may be on you.

Survival Tip #8: Be humble At the end of the day, we all know that some of these holidays are hella racist, hella inappropriate celebrations of genocide. Or hella pagan and has nothing to do with how we govern our everyday lives. But for many of us, we celebrate our blessings with family that we may not be able to see as much as we used to. It's important to remember that while our stressful relatives may try us, there are people who wish they had our circumstances. There are countless people forced to spend holidays with abusers, others who have no one at all, and those who are impacted by scarcity. When all else fails use humility to get you through. Until next year.